A conscious approach to intentions, alignment, and sustainable growth in the new year
Every January, millions of people sit down with a fresh notebook full of hope, only to watch those resolutions fade by February. If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to keep goals or build new habits, it’s not because you’re lazy or undisciplined. It’s because there’s a mismatch between how our brains and nervous systems are wired and how we attempt change.
In this post, we’re going to explore why bold goals are hard to set, why resolutions fail, and how intentions, alignment, and soul-level clarity can help us create sustainable growth in 2026.
INTENTIONS VS. GOALS: WHY ALIGNMENT MATTERS
Before we dive in, I want to highlight something powerful that I’ve learned through my own healing work and community.
I really like how Tracey Gillies, a lovely healer, talks about the difference between intentions and goals. She says:
“Intentions are different from goals. Goals tend to live in the mind, while intentions begin at the soul level and then filter down. Alignment matters.” — Tracey Gillies
This distinction is vital.
- Goals are mental: The “do, achieve, measure.”
- Intentions are soulful: The “feel, become, align.”
When we set goals without anchoring them in intention, they feel heavy or disconnected. But when goals flow from intention, they carry energy, clarity, and purpose.
That alignment is the difference between forcing change and being moved by it.
1. We Don’t Really Know What We Want (Clarity vs “Should” Goals)
One of the biggest reasons goals fail is simple: we’re not actually sure what we want. We only know what we shouldwant.
- “Be healthier.”
- “Make more money.”
- “Be more organized.”
These goals sound good, but they’re not always ours. Without inner clarity, goals become performative, shaped by pressure, comparison, or expectation.
This is where Tracey’s approach matters. Intentions ask:
✨ “How do I want to feel?”
✨ “What matters to me in this season?”
✨ “What am I willing to commit to with love, not force?”
From there, aligned goals naturally emerge.
2. Fear Is Real And Multi-Layered (The Psychology Behind Avoidance)
Most abandoned goals are not about discipline. They’re about fear, and not just fear of failing.
Here are the real fears underneath:
- Fear of Failure: “What if I try and it doesn’t work?”
- Fear of Disconnect: “What if I am losing people when I reach my goals?”
- Fear of Success: “What if my life changes and I can’t handle it?”
- Fear of Responsibility: “What if I’m actually capable and now I have to lead?”
- Fear of Being Wrong: “What if I want the wrong thing?”
These are not mindset flaws. They are identity questions. And identity questions always override willpower.
3. We Chase Goals That Aren’t Our Dream (External vs Internal Goals)
This one hurts, but it’s common: we set goals that don’t belong to us.
- our parents wanted
- our industry glorifies
- society praises
- Instagram rewards
And when the goal isn’t ours, the journey feels like burnout instead of growth.
Aligned goals feel expansive, not heavy. They energize the nervous system instead of draining it.
4. The “Laziness” Myth (Why Motivation Isn’t the Real Problem)
People love to say laziness stops them, but laziness is rarely the root. What we call laziness is often:
- lack of clarity (so the brain conserves energy)
- lack of structure (so habits don’t stick)
- lack of emotional alignment (so the nervous system resists)
- lack of support (so goals feel lonely)
- lack of safety (the nervous system isn’t regulated enough to expand)
With the right systems, even people who think they “lack discipline” thrive.
This matters because…
What looks like laziness is often a nervous system saying, “I don’t feel safe to change yet.”
5. Comfort Zone & Homeostasis (Why the Brain Resists Change)
Our brains are wired for predictability.
Comfort zones aren’t cozy blankets. They’re survival strategies. If a bold goal threatens routine, identity, or belonging, the brain pulls back and jumps into panic mode.
This is why micro-steps and incremental exposure matter. We don’t need to leap; we need to expand. We need to stretch our comfort zone by dipping our toe into our stretch zone.
6. Limiting Beliefs Shape Our Reality (Identity vs Willpower)
Before a goal fails in reality, it fails in the mind.
Common beliefs sound like:
❌ “I’m not disciplined.”
❌ “I always quit.”
❌ “People like me can’t do that.”
❌ “I am too lazy. Tomorrow is the day”
❌ “It’s too late / too hard / too risky.”
These beliefs act like invisible fences. You don’t break them with motivation. You dissolve them with identity work, support, and aligned intention.
7. We Don’t Know How to Get There (Structure vs Overwhelm)
Even aligned goals collapse when there is no roadmap.
- Vision without structure becomes overwhelming.
- Structure without vision becomes pressure.
This is where intentional planning matters. Not rigid, punishing schedules, but supportive systems that make follow-through natural.
As Barbara Corcoran wisely says:
“By focusing on the important ‘A’ priorities rather than getting distracted by a very long laundry list, chances are that you’ll be more fulfilled and effective.”
— Barbara Corcoran, founder of The Corcoran Group & Shark on “Shark Tank”
And Mark Divine reminds us of alignment:
“If a goal aligns with your ethos and connects to your overall mission, the process of fulfilling it will be transformative. It will make you happier too, because you won’t quit!”
— Mark Divine, retired U.S. Navy SEAL commander & NYT/WSJ bestselling author
Alignment + priority = sustainability.
A New Approach for 2026: Intentions → Alignment → Structure
Here’s the model I teach and practice:
1. INTENTION (Soul)
Ask: Who am I becoming? How do I want to feel? What season am I in?
2. ALIGNMENT (Identity)
Ask: Does this support my values, dreams, energy, and nervous system?
3. STRUCTURE (Strategy)
Ask: What does this look like weekly, monthly, and seasonally?
When this order is reversed, goals feel forced. When it flows in this order, goals feel natural.
FINAL THOUGHT
Resolutions fail because they start in the mind and stop there.
Growth succeeds when it starts in the soul and filters outward.
In 2026, don’t just set goals.
Set intentions that align with your values, identity, and season, and then build goals that support them.
Because the people who don’t quit are not more disciplined. They’re more aligned.
